A divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in life. How you approach the divorce and manage the divorce both emotionally, legally and financially can have a huge impact on your ability to recover and rebuild a better life for yourself. They key is don’t try to go it alone.
Women work best in a community but when experiencing divorce you must build your community that can provide both objective advice while supporting and encouraging you to make the best decisions for your future so that you can heal and shine again.
It’s important that you formally ask for their help and to be available to you and a part of this community.
Your divorce community must incorporate one of each of the following.
- A family member who understands your situation and challenges but can also be objective with their advice and support.
- A friend who can commit to supporting you and provides sound and objective advice but who can listen and empathize when needed.
- An attorney that is recommended and that you LIKE with whom you feel will provide the best council.
- A Financial Advisor who respects women and provides not just investment advice but the education you need to understand your money and what it means to your future.
- A Life Coach who will not just be a sounding board but provide action steps to help you move forward and improve your life.
Think of a beautiful diamond ring, that diamond is held firmly in place by prongs that do not hold that diamond down but together supports that diamond so everyone can see its beauty and brilliance.
You too can become that diamond again, but it starts with building your community.
There are several myths about women and wealth that you might not be aware of. Below are the top five myths about women and money:
- Women are not good at math: Nature, not nurture, accounts for the gap in math skills. However, there is a growing movement to expose more women to learning and mentoring opportunities in the fields of math, engineering, finance, and science.
- Women are impulsive spenders: Money is an equal-opportunity, all purpose mood changer. Just as many men impulsively spend and overshop as women. One major difference is how society labels it. Women overshop; men collect, a term that gives the activity an intellectual cast. However the underlying impulse behavior is the same.
- Women are too emotional to invest wisely: Female investors outperform men in the long run. Men try to compete with the market and chase returns, leading to more frequent trading and high transaction costs. Women take a long time to make an initial investment decision; they are committed to the decision in the long run. Women are less reactive to short term changes in the market, trade less frequently than men, and realize better long-term investment performance as a result.
- Women would rather let men manage the family finances: Women are the chief financial officers of their households in 66 out of 100 homes (2010 Women and Affluence Study by Women & Co.). Women in the ultra high net worth market reported they play a high to moderate role in the management of the family’s assets. When it comes to retirement, 90 percent of women participate in decisions that affect their household’s retirement and investment accounts.
- Women are not interested in wealth management: The gender gap in finance is diminishing as women enter the field. Advising clients lends itself to a woman’s strengths in relationship building and communication, allowing female advisors to have the opportunity to outperform men. Organizations like Directions for Women and The Female Affect offer forums and networking opportunities to facilitate the advancement of women in financial services.
Kingsbury, How to Give Financial Advice to Women
Understanding these myths will help you overcome and fears that you may have had when it comes to managing your finances. Do you know of any other myths about women and their wealth? Please let us know what you think by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
Some women handle their money brilliantly all the time- in a perfect world. It is crucial to be connected with your finances. However, most of us are in dark about our finances for reasons like misunderstanding terms or not being involved enough. Luckily, there is always time for you to become engaged. The tips below will help you become involved with your personal finances:
- Do you let your husband or partner manage money without your involvement? Change happens all the time in relationships, don’t start learning about your finances while you are in shock.
- Do not sign your joint income tax return without reading it. Make sure you understand and thoroughly read your income tax return. If you need to, consult a professional; but don’t rush into signing anything.
- Do you use your husband’s financial advisor, even if you don’t really like him, know him, or can’t stand him? At your next meeting with your Advisor, ask yourself how much YOU were engaged in the conversation. If not, consult with your partner and try to find an Advisor both of you can be engaged with.
- Ask for confusing terms to be explained. Don’t let uncertainty and being uncomfortable get in the way of understanding your finances.
- Not taking enough risk. We women tend to be more against taking risks. Women live longer lives; we retire with two-thirds the retirement savings of men. This calls for greater risk taking to earn a higher return. Many women HAVE to push themselves to do this.
- Not seeing your money as a means to express your values. Value is defined as a person’s principles or standards of behavior. Many women express their values through the products they buy, the way they spend their time, and the companies they work for. However, few women view their investments as a tool for expressing value. Today, the new industry can represent a way for women to have their money work at more than just earning a financial return.
It is time for you to become engaged and find success in your finances! Take control now! Did you find this email helpful? I’d love to hear from you, please post feedback to Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
You have decided to earn more money. Once you have made that committed decision, three things will happen:
- There Will Be Coincidences
- Decisions are like magnets, they draw opportunities to you. All you need to do is take advantage of the coincidences when they occur.
- Other Areas of Your Life Will Change
- You can’t make changes in one aspect of your life and expect everything else to remain the same. Sometimes the changes are positive while others are negative. Keep in mind that change is inevitable and will lead to bigger and better things.
- You Will Resist
- Anytime you set a goal or make a decision to do something different, you create a gap between where you are now, and where you want to go. This gap creates resistance. Be aware that you are resisting and use the tension to push you forward.
Barbara Stanny, Secrets of Successful High Earners
Do you find these events happening as you make changes in your finances? I’d love to hear some feedback! Post on Facebook.
Women can be notorious for making financial decisions based on emotions. It can be as simple as splurging on a new dress or purse that may not be a fiscally sound decision but “you just had to have it!” Or more serious events like leaving substantial money on the table when experiencing a divorce or financial separation. These decisions are often motivated by guilt or to avoid further conflict, and often create a serious and long-term impact on a woman’s financial future.
While not all emotional decisions have a negative impact recognizing your tendency to make financial decisions based on emotions, it can help you navigate more serious issues with greater care.
What was the last emotional decision you made with money? What impact did it have on your financial situation?
Many women worry about ending up destitute and in the streets in their senior years. This is the bag lady syndrome; it often stems from lack of confidence in knowing how to make and manage money. The bag lady syndrome ranges from women who have a lot of money to women who have a highly emotional relationship with money. To build up confidence you must explore your money mindset. What is your thought or belief about money and its purpose in the world? Your money mindset ultimately dictates how you save, spend, invest, and gift daily.
Source: Kingsbury, How to Give Financial Advice to Women
Women worry more about the effect of money on relationships:
A survey by Camden Wealth and Morgan Stanley Private Wealth Management shows that a staggering 79% of younger (“next-generation”) ultra wealthy women are concerned their wealth will complicate relationships with spouses, partners, friends and colleagues. Only 22% of wealthy men shared these concerns. I believe the same conclusions can be drawn for women and men in all income and net worth brackets.
Despite meticulous planning, the holidays are the time when most consumers do the most damage to their debt loads by buying presents for family and friends now and figuring out how to pay for them later.
Here are some tips to help you avoid overspending during the holiday season.
Get over the guilt
Are you buying that gift because you haven’t spent enough time with that recipient? Are you trying to make up for something you’re feeling bad about? It’s important to ask yourself if spending a surplus of money on a gift is really going to help you achieve the goal of gift-giving in the first place.
Set a budget, spend within it
It is crucial to establish a budget BEFORE you go shopping. Don’t spend more than you can pay back in one month. You’ll still have to pay your regular bills just like the other 11 months of the year plus all those added holiday expenses.
Always pay for purchases with a debit card
If you can’t pay with debit, you can’t afford it.
Don’t let a gift put a value on you
Consumers value themselves based on their spending choices. People become consumed in what they believe they’re expected to purchase. Think about what you can afford. What is the meaning and value behind your gift? The gift may not cost much, but may be worth more to the recipient than the price.
Put meaning into your gift
Donating to a charity of your choice in a loved one’s name is a fantastic way to show you care while staying within your budget. Research a charity or organization that holds special meaning to your recipient and honor them while helping somebody else in need.
Start the New Year right
Create a monthly expense budget and examine what you’re actually spending each month. Set your spending and saving goals early in the year.
Did you put these tools to use during your holiday shopping? Did you implement any other money saving tools? I’d love to hear back from you.
Source: Keltie, 5 Tips to Avoid Holiday Overspending
…to make smart financial decisions
They assume they must understand every aspect of their investments and financial plan in order to make a decision. Nothing could be further from the truth. We all delegate to professionals who have an expertise that we don’t have the time or the inclination to perfect, the same holds true with your financial life. While we do not suggest you simply “blindly” trust any professional you work with the reality is you do not have to know how to build the clock you just need to know how the clock works and can impact your life.
The Big Spender
The Big Spender has no problem spending money if the purchase seems right. They view money as a vehicle for bringing themselves and others happiness. Big spenders view life as endless possibilities; they enjoy life and what it has to offer. The downside is that they overspend when they are upset or bored.
The Saver is the polar opposite of the big spender. The saver believes in saving money at all costs. They keep track of all monies earned and spent and are extremely cautious with their finances. Many positive aspects come from pinching pennies. The positive aspect of being a saver is that they tend to have a nice emergency savings cushion, good credit and very little debt. On the negative side, extreme saving tends to come from a fear of never having enough, which means that the saver probably denies themselves things that they want and even need.
The Entrepreneur gets a thrill from overextending and stretching financially. They make investments in a business or a beach house even if it means eating canned soup every night for dinner. Thrill-seekers tend to be free-thinking entrepreneurs; they view life as a game and money as the playing pieces.
When you’re a thrill-seeker with your money, your financial journey is exciting. Living with this thrill-seeking mindset means that each day is a new adventure. However, this mindset can be risky. If anything goes wrong, this spender could potentially lose a lot of money.
If you’re a saver and find yourself constantly checking your balances to make sure you have enough, you crave the security that you feel money offers. You aren’t afraid of spending money like The Saver; you take your time making a commitment to purchases, especially large ones. While this type of spending has its definite advantages, like the fact that you probably won’t find yourself in financial trouble, the urge to check and recheck your safety net can become overwhelming.
The Idealist views money and consumerism as unsavory and the root of many of the world’s problems. They prefer to dedicate themselves to innovative pursuits that don’t focus on money. The Idealist most likely ignores their finances and pays for necessary items quickly; afterwards, they jump back into their own agenda.
The Idealist spender tends to notice simple pleasures. However, this mindset is often impractical. They enjoy life, but forget that they need money to enjoy some aspects of it.
Source: Payoff, 5 Different Types of Money Spenders