Children can become master manipulators finding ways to get you to pay for what they want. It starts as early kindergarten (sometimes sooner) barraging you for candy at the checkout counter (what mother hasn’t given in to that pressure), or perhaps it’s the latest and greatest toy (that typically keeps their interest for a week) or the latest fashion created by a rock star (that often has less material then most parents consider decent with 3x the price tag).
As a parent this constant pressure can become overwhelming creating a sort of entitlement syndrome or a state of affluenza in our children setting them up for financial failure. The key to helping kids learn how to manage their money effectively is helping them understand the difference between what they NEED and WANT and then managing their money accordingly. Here is a simple program that can simplify your life, reduce the constant pressure and teach your children a lifelong lesson:
- Use school lunches as the basis to their monthly allowance, if it costs $4.00 a day for a hot lunch establish their monthly allowance at $80.00. $80.00 may seem like a lot but trust me we often spend more due to a lack of budget. They can choose to use this money on hot lunch, or bring a lunch and save the money for other things they WANT, like fun clothes, movies with friends, ice cream etc…. the choice is theirs.
- Open a checking account/savings account that gives them access to the ATM machine. Let them know that $40.00 will be deposited into the account on the 1st and 15th of each month and be consistent with the deposits if you want this to work.
- Clarify what is a NEED and what is a WANT. Food on the table, books and necessary school supplies, basic clothing are needs while designer clothing, a must have skate board or pizza parties is a WANT.
- Stay firm in your stance as to what they NEED and allow them to run out of money from time to time, even when it’s a special opportunity and they have no funds left you are NOT in the business of lending.
While you may hear a few complaints from time to time, like “John’s parent’s pay for everything!” Make sure to hold your ground, as your children will learn valuable management skills that will have a positive impact on the rest of their lives.
When you begin the journey of taking charge of your financial life remember and repeat the Women’s Money Mantra.
1. You don’t have to have it all together, just start
2. It’s okay not to know, as long as you are willing to learn
3. If in doubt reach out and find a professional you LIKE and likes YOU not just your money
4. There are no stupid questions just complicated answers, keep asking
5. When they say “Just trust me” run the other way and find another advisor
Do you have a Mantra you would like to share? I’d love to learn about yours! Please let us know what you think by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
For most people, money is never just money; it is a tool to accomplish some of life’s goals. It is love, power, happiness, security, control, dependency, independence, freedom and more. When two individuals form an enduring relationship with each other, money is always a partner, too.
Men and women vary in their idea of personal boundaries because they are both raised largely by women. Men have to psychologically disconnect more from women because of the sex difference; women do not have to separate so rigidly, and therefore can afford less distinct boundaries.
Second, men are raised to see the world as hierarchical and competitive. Women see the world as cooperative and democratic; they share. In addition, it is accepted that women are needy and vulnerable, while men are discouraged from such display.
When men make more money than their spouse, they believe their superior earnings entitle them to greater power in decision-making. By contrast, women who make more than their mates almost always desire democratic decision-making.
Money issues are different from other problems in a relationship. These problems are significantly more difficult to talk about and harder to resolve because of our extensive cultural conditioning. The most important thing in communication is empathy. It’s more important to be heard and understood than to have a partner agree with what you say without listening.
Mellan, Men, Women, and Money
What do you think? Can you relate? Or, is your situation different? Please let us know what you think by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
Too many women lack the confidence necessary to take control of their financial lives. Women fear making investments, managing their finances, planning and monitoring their spending, managing investments, and increasing their wealth.
Why aren’t women more confident with their finances?
The answer is that women are stopping themselves from being assertive. Many women leave their financial lives to their husbands, boyfriends or parents, and because of this way of thinking, they lack financial power. Financial empowerment must come from within. Women must seize it with fervor, reflecting an unshakable determination to take control of their financial lives. You must tell yourself that you can become empowered, and that you will not let outdated notions of gender hinder your success. Keep “EMPOWER” in your mind as an acronym representing these concepts:
Education is critical
Motivation inspired by your values
Protection against risk
Ownership of your future
Work — claiming what is yours requires effort
Emotions should be kept out of decisions
Responsibility to yourself
Do you use any acronyms to motivate you with your finances? I’d love to learn about yours! Please let us know what you think by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
Gibbons, EmpowHer! Why more women are taking the financial lead
Some women handle their money brilliantly all the time- in a perfect world. It is crucial to be connected with your finances. However, most of us are in dark about our finances for reasons like misunderstanding terms or not being involved enough. Luckily, there is always time for you to become engaged. The tips below will help you become involved with your personal finances:
- Do you let your husband or partner manage money without your involvement? Change happens all the time in relationships, don’t start learning about your finances while you are in shock.
- Do not sign your joint income tax return without reading it. Make sure you understand and thoroughly read your income tax return. If you need to, consult a professional; but don’t rush into signing anything.
- Do you use your husband’s financial advisor, even if you don’t really like him, know him, or can’t stand him? At your next meeting with your Advisor, ask yourself how much YOU were engaged in the conversation. If not, consult with your partner and try to find an Advisor both of you can be engaged with.
- Ask for confusing terms to be explained. Don’t let uncertainty and being uncomfortable get in the way of understanding your finances.
- Not taking enough risk. We women tend to be more against taking risks. Women live longer lives; we retire with two-thirds the retirement savings of men. This calls for greater risk taking to earn a higher return. Many women HAVE to push themselves to do this.
- Not seeing your money as a means to express your values. Value is defined as a person’s principles or standards of behavior. Many women express their values through the products they buy, the way they spend their time, and the companies they work for. However, few women view their investments as a tool for expressing value. Today, the new industry can represent a way for women to have their money work at more than just earning a financial return.
It is time for you to become engaged and find success in your finances! Take control now! Did you find this email helpful? I’d love to hear from you, please post feedback to Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
You have decided to earn more money. Once you have made that committed decision, three things will happen:
- There Will Be Coincidences
- Decisions are like magnets, they draw opportunities to you. All you need to do is take advantage of the coincidences when they occur.
- Other Areas of Your Life Will Change
- You can’t make changes in one aspect of your life and expect everything else to remain the same. Sometimes the changes are positive while others are negative. Keep in mind that change is inevitable and will lead to bigger and better things.
- You Will Resist
- Anytime you set a goal or make a decision to do something different, you create a gap between where you are now, and where you want to go. This gap creates resistance. Be aware that you are resisting and use the tension to push you forward.
Barbara Stanny, Secrets of Successful High Earners
Do you find these events happening as you make changes in your finances? I’d love to hear some feedback! Post on Facebook.
Women worry more about their financial health but lag in decision-making and self-confidence:
This difference in self-confidence has an enormous impact on the financial planning industry. A LPL Financial “Women Invest White Paper” survey shows that 67% women want an equal role in financial decision making and only approximately 20% want their husbands to make all the decisions. Yet, data shows less than two-thirds of women actually attain an equal role in financial decision-making (note: financial decision-making here refers to “big ticket item decisions,” not grocery shopping level daily or weekly decisions).
An ideal advisor will listen to both women and men – regardless of the gender of the financial decision-maker – and will avoid being patronizing toward both women and men if they lack financial understanding. Women prefer to work with female advisors, when possible. Although women comprise more than half the financial planning/investment clients in this country, fewer than one-quarter of Certified Financial Planners® (or other credentialed advisors) are female.
Kaplan, Women and Money: Why They Avoid Risk and Lack Confidence when Making
Don’t feel patronized or left out of your financial future. Whether you’re single, married, divorced, or widowed, let’s talk about how I encourage women to take on a greater role in the decision making process. Contact me today.
Many women worry about ending up destitute and in the streets in their senior years. This is the bag lady syndrome; it often stems from lack of confidence in knowing how to make and manage money. The bag lady syndrome ranges from women who have a lot of money to women who have a highly emotional relationship with money. To build up confidence you must explore your money mindset. What is your thought or belief about money and its purpose in the world? Your money mindset ultimately dictates how you save, spend, invest, and gift daily.
Source: Kingsbury, How to Give Financial Advice to Women
Despite meticulous planning, the holidays are the time when most consumers do the most damage to their debt loads by buying presents for family and friends now and figuring out how to pay for them later.
Here are some tips to help you avoid overspending during the holiday season.
Get over the guilt
Are you buying that gift because you haven’t spent enough time with that recipient? Are you trying to make up for something you’re feeling bad about? It’s important to ask yourself if spending a surplus of money on a gift is really going to help you achieve the goal of gift-giving in the first place.
Set a budget, spend within it
It is crucial to establish a budget BEFORE you go shopping. Don’t spend more than you can pay back in one month. You’ll still have to pay your regular bills just like the other 11 months of the year plus all those added holiday expenses.
Always pay for purchases with a debit card
If you can’t pay with debit, you can’t afford it.
Don’t let a gift put a value on you
Consumers value themselves based on their spending choices. People become consumed in what they believe they’re expected to purchase. Think about what you can afford. What is the meaning and value behind your gift? The gift may not cost much, but may be worth more to the recipient than the price.
Put meaning into your gift
Donating to a charity of your choice in a loved one’s name is a fantastic way to show you care while staying within your budget. Research a charity or organization that holds special meaning to your recipient and honor them while helping somebody else in need.
Start the New Year right
Create a monthly expense budget and examine what you’re actually spending each month. Set your spending and saving goals early in the year.
Did you put these tools to use during your holiday shopping? Did you implement any other money saving tools? I’d love to hear back from you.
Source: Keltie, 5 Tips to Avoid Holiday Overspending
…to make smart financial decisions
They assume they must understand every aspect of their investments and financial plan in order to make a decision. Nothing could be further from the truth. We all delegate to professionals who have an expertise that we don’t have the time or the inclination to perfect, the same holds true with your financial life. While we do not suggest you simply “blindly” trust any professional you work with the reality is you do not have to know how to build the clock you just need to know how the clock works and can impact your life.