As a woman it’s easy to let your feelings of guilt, desire for closure and avoidance of conflict to undermine your divorce process, especially when engaging in mediation. When the emotions are running high you may be better served with a lawyer who can intervene when you are not making the best decisions for your future.
In mediation while the lawyer can suggest steps you should take to clarify financial values they can’t do more than just suggest. You may need someone to take you by the hand and lead you to the path that is best for your future. Remember in most cases it’s not just YOUR future it often includes your children as well.
Remember that it’s important to speak to a financial advisor, before, during and after a divorce, as lawyers are legal representatives, not financial ones? Please let us know by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
For most people, money is never just money; it is a tool to accomplish some of life’s goals. It is love, power, happiness, security, control, dependency, independence, freedom and more. When two individuals form an enduring relationship with each other, money is always a partner, too.
Men and women vary in their idea of personal boundaries because they are both raised largely by women. Men have to psychologically disconnect more from women because of the sex difference; women do not have to separate so rigidly, and therefore can afford less distinct boundaries.
Second, men are raised to see the world as hierarchical and competitive. Women see the world as cooperative and democratic; they share. In addition, it is accepted that women are needy and vulnerable, while men are discouraged from such display.
When men make more money than their spouse, they believe their superior earnings entitle them to greater power in decision-making. By contrast, women who make more than their mates almost always desire democratic decision-making.
Money issues are different from other problems in a relationship. These problems are significantly more difficult to talk about and harder to resolve because of our extensive cultural conditioning. The most important thing in communication is empathy. It’s more important to be heard and understood than to have a partner agree with what you say without listening.
Mellan, Men, Women, and Money
What do you think? Can you relate? Or, is your situation different? Please let us know what you think by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
Too many women lack the confidence necessary to take control of their financial lives. Women fear making investments, managing their finances, planning and monitoring their spending, managing investments, and increasing their wealth.
Why aren’t women more confident with their finances?
The answer is that women are stopping themselves from being assertive. Many women leave their financial lives to their husbands, boyfriends or parents, and because of this way of thinking, they lack financial power. Financial empowerment must come from within. Women must seize it with fervor, reflecting an unshakable determination to take control of their financial lives. You must tell yourself that you can become empowered, and that you will not let outdated notions of gender hinder your success. Keep “EMPOWER” in your mind as an acronym representing these concepts:
Education is critical
Motivation inspired by your values
Protection against risk
Ownership of your future
Work — claiming what is yours requires effort
Emotions should be kept out of decisions
Responsibility to yourself
Do you use any acronyms to motivate you with your finances? I’d love to learn about yours! Please let us know what you think by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
Gibbons, EmpowHer! Why more women are taking the financial lead
Women avoid risk more than men; this can come back to bite them
Perhaps it comes down to both genes and social upbringing – women feel greater pain when they lose money than men. The result is that women tend to shy away from stocks more than men do. This makes intuitive sense because stocks are more volatile and unpredictable — on average – than bonds or cash. Perversely, it’s the wrong direction for women; they need higher exposure to stocks than men do. Women live longer than men; stocks broadly should continue to outpace inflation over long stretches of time vs. bonds and cash. Inflation is the enemy of all retirees and is especially corrosive to women due to their relative longevity.
Some women handle their money brilliantly all the time- in a perfect world. It is crucial to be connected with your finances. However, most of us are in dark about our finances for reasons like misunderstanding terms or not being involved enough. Luckily, there is always time for you to become engaged. The tips below will help you become involved with your personal finances:
- Do you let your husband or partner manage money without your involvement? Change happens all the time in relationships, don’t start learning about your finances while you are in shock.
- Do not sign your joint income tax return without reading it. Make sure you understand and thoroughly read your income tax return. If you need to, consult a professional; but don’t rush into signing anything.
- Do you use your husband’s financial advisor, even if you don’t really like him, know him, or can’t stand him? At your next meeting with your Advisor, ask yourself how much YOU were engaged in the conversation. If not, consult with your partner and try to find an Advisor both of you can be engaged with.
- Ask for confusing terms to be explained. Don’t let uncertainty and being uncomfortable get in the way of understanding your finances.
- Not taking enough risk. We women tend to be more against taking risks. Women live longer lives; we retire with two-thirds the retirement savings of men. This calls for greater risk taking to earn a higher return. Many women HAVE to push themselves to do this.
- Not seeing your money as a means to express your values. Value is defined as a person’s principles or standards of behavior. Many women express their values through the products they buy, the way they spend their time, and the companies they work for. However, few women view their investments as a tool for expressing value. Today, the new industry can represent a way for women to have their money work at more than just earning a financial return.
It is time for you to become engaged and find success in your finances! Take control now! Did you find this email helpful? I’d love to hear from you, please post feedback to Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.
You have decided to earn more money. Once you have made that committed decision, three things will happen:
- There Will Be Coincidences
- Decisions are like magnets, they draw opportunities to you. All you need to do is take advantage of the coincidences when they occur.
- Other Areas of Your Life Will Change
- You can’t make changes in one aspect of your life and expect everything else to remain the same. Sometimes the changes are positive while others are negative. Keep in mind that change is inevitable and will lead to bigger and better things.
- You Will Resist
- Anytime you set a goal or make a decision to do something different, you create a gap between where you are now, and where you want to go. This gap creates resistance. Be aware that you are resisting and use the tension to push you forward.
Barbara Stanny, Secrets of Successful High Earners
Do you find these events happening as you make changes in your finances? I’d love to hear some feedback! Post on Facebook.
All human brains have reflective and reflexive thinking. However, the way the female brain is structured makes women tend to be more focused on care-giving, passing on money and life values to the next generation, and using wealth to better the community as a whole. The three areas of the brain that will be discussed are the Amygdala and Limbic System, Hippocampus, and Corpus callosum:
Amygdala and Limbic System: The Amygdala is the center for emotion, fear, and aggression. It is located in the Limbic System and is the part of the brain responsible for the fight or flight response. The female brain’s limbic system is typically larger than the male’s. Scientists hypothesize that the larger limbic system contributes to women being more compelled to care for others.
Hippocampus: This part of the brain is the center of emotion and memory formation. This section of the brain is larger in women than men and accounts for a woman’s ability to remember specific details. The larger hippocampus also could contribute to some women wanting their Financial Advisors to remember personal details about their life.
Corpus Callosum: This part of the brain transmits signals and connects the left and the right side of the brain. Women have more connections between the left and right hemispheres, making them excellent at multitasking and verbal communication.
Kingsbury, How to Give Financial Advice to Women
Do you have any past experiences that reflect the new information you just learned about your brain?
Women worry more about their financial health but lag in decision-making and self-confidence:
This difference in self-confidence has an enormous impact on the financial planning industry. A LPL Financial “Women Invest White Paper” survey shows that 67% women want an equal role in financial decision making and only approximately 20% want their husbands to make all the decisions. Yet, data shows less than two-thirds of women actually attain an equal role in financial decision-making (note: financial decision-making here refers to “big ticket item decisions,” not grocery shopping level daily or weekly decisions).
An ideal advisor will listen to both women and men – regardless of the gender of the financial decision-maker – and will avoid being patronizing toward both women and men if they lack financial understanding. Women prefer to work with female advisors, when possible. Although women comprise more than half the financial planning/investment clients in this country, fewer than one-quarter of Certified Financial Planners® (or other credentialed advisors) are female.
Kaplan, Women and Money: Why They Avoid Risk and Lack Confidence when Making
Don’t feel patronized or left out of your financial future. Whether you’re single, married, divorced, or widowed, let’s talk about how I encourage women to take on a greater role in the decision making process. Contact me today.
As women we are often encouraged to write goals, goals that usually pertain to numbers. The problem is most women are not driven by numbers alone. For many the numbers can simply become a distraction or a deterrent to growth. Knowing what it is you want to achieve in life and what that life looks like can be a more powerful motivator for women. Once you know that vision of where your life will be you can then gently back into the plan, breaking it down into achievable stages in life and then break it down to the numbers, if that works for you. As a woman, start with a vision of where you want to go with your life, keep that vision clear, focused and realistic, this will help inspire greater progress and on-going motivation.
If you could wipe the slate clean and create the life you really want, what would it look like?
Women can be notorious for making financial decisions based on emotions. It can be as simple as splurging on a new dress or purse that may not be a fiscally sound decision but “you just had to have it!” Or more serious events like leaving substantial money on the table when experiencing a divorce or financial separation. These decisions are often motivated by guilt or to avoid further conflict, and often create a serious and long-term impact on a woman’s financial future.
While not all emotional decisions have a negative impact recognizing your tendency to make financial decisions based on emotions, it can help you navigate more serious issues with greater care.
What was the last emotional decision you made with money? What impact did it have on your financial situation?