Building your Divorce Community

Building Your Divorce Community

A divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in life. How you approach the divorce and manage the divorce both emotionally, legally and financially can have a huge impact on your ability to recover and rebuild a better life for yourself. They key is don’t try to go it alone.

Women work best in a community but when experiencing divorce you must build your community that can provide both objective advice while supporting and encouraging you to make the best decisions for your future so that you can heal and shine again.

It’s important that you formally ask for their help and to be available to you and a part of this community.

Your divorce community must incorporate one of each of the following.

  1. A family member who understands your situation and challenges but can also be objective with their advice and support.
  2. A friend who can commit to supporting you and provides sound and objective advice but who can listen and empathize when needed.
  3. An attorney that is recommended and that you LIKE with whom you feel will provide the best council.
  4. A Financial Advisor who respects women and provides not just investment advice but the education you need to understand your money and what it means to your future.
  5. A Life Coach who will not just be a sounding board but provide action steps to help you move forward and improve your life.

Think of a beautiful diamond ring, that diamond is held firmly in place by prongs that do not hold that diamond down but together supports that diamond so everyone can see its beauty and brilliance.

You too can become that diamond again, but it starts with building your community.

Learn from Your Mistakes

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” – Albert Einstein

When it comes to your finances, it’s important to learn from your mistakes. When you learn from your mistakes, you will find yourself better off and more able to ‘live for today’ and have ‘hope for tomorrow’.

We should all learn from the past; especially from the financial mistakes we have made in the past. We certainly don’t want to make the same mistakes again. Don’t spend your entire life re-evaluating these mistakes; they’re over and done with, and all you can do is learn from those financial mistakes.

Enjoy the day you’re living in. Think of each new day as a new adventure — a new life. Tell yourself that it’s going to be the best day of your life. One of the major afflictions in life is that many women put off their financial problems. However, putting those issues off will only mean that they will resurface later. Remember that today is the most important day of your life. Learn from your mistakes; fix them today so you don’t have to fret about the future.

Life is full of problems pertaining to the future: financial problems, worries over your health, and worries about getting old. Some of these will come to pass (such as growing old), but many of them will not manifest past worrying. Force yourself to remain optimistic about the future. Never lose hope; set financial goals for yourself and strive to accomplish them. It makes you optimistic and gives you faith in your financial future.

Source: Parker, Learn from Yesterday, Live for Today, Hope for Tomorrow

4 Money Blunders That Could Leave You Poorer

A “not-to- do” list for the new year & years to follow.

How are your money habits? Are you getting ahead financially, or does it feel like you are  running in place?

It may come down to behavior. Some financial behaviors promote wealth creation, while others lead to frustration. Certainly other factors come into play when determining a household’s financial situation, but behavior and attitudes toward money rank pretty high on the list.

How many households are focusing on the fundamentals? Late in 2014, the Denver-based National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) surveyed 2,000 adults from the 10 largest U.S. metro areas and found that 64% wanted to make at least one financial resolution for 2015.

The top three financial goals for the new year: building retirement savings, setting a budget, and creating a plan to pay off debt. 1

All well and good, but the respondents didn’t feel so good about their financial situations.

About one-third of them said the quality of their financial life was “worse than they expected it to be.” In fact, 48% told NEFE they were living paycheck-to- paycheck and 63% reported facing a sudden and major expense last year. 1

Fate and lackluster wage growth aside, good money habits might help to reduce those percentages in 2015. There are certain habits that tend to improve household finances, and other habits that tend to harm them. As a cautionary note for 2016, here is a “not-to- do” list – a list of key money blunders that could make you much poorer if repeated over time.

Money Blunder #1: Spend every dollar that comes through your hands. Maybe we should ban the phrase “disposable income.” Too many households are disposing of money that they could save or invest. Or, they are spending money that they don’t actually have (through credit

You have to have creature comforts, and you can’t live on pocket change. Even so, you can vow to put aside a certain number of dollars per month to spend on something really important: YOU. That 24-hour sale where everything is 50% off? It probably isn’t a “once in a lifetime” event; for all you know, it may happen again next weekend. It is nothing special compared to your future.

Money Blunder #2: Pay others before you pay yourself. Our economy is consumer-driven and service-oriented. Every day brings us chances to take on additional consumer debt. That works against wealth. How many bills do you pay a month, and how much money is left when you are done? Less debt equals more money to pay yourself with – money that you can save or invest on behalf of your future and your dreams and priorities.

Money Blunder #3: Don’t save anything. Paying yourself first also means building an emergency fund and a strong cash position. With the middle class making very little economic progress in this generation (at least based on wages versus inflation), this may seem hard to accomplish. It may very well be, but it will be even harder to face an unexpected financial burden with minimal cash on hand.

The U.S. personal savings rate has averaged about 5% recently. Not great, but better than the low of 2.6% measured in 2007. Saving 5% of your disposable income may seem like a challenge, but the challenge is relative: the personal savings rate in China is 50%. 2

Money Blunder #4: Invest impulsively. Buying what’s hot, chasing the return, investing in what you don’t fully understand – these are all variations of the same bad habit, which is investing emotionally and trying to time the market. The impulse is to “make money,” with too little attention paid to diversification, risk tolerance and other critical factors along the way. Money may be made, but it may not be retained.

Make 2016 the year of good money habits. You may be doing all the right things right now and if so, you may be making financial strides. If you find yourself doing things that are halting your financial progress, remember the old saying: change is good. A change in financial behavior may be rewarding.

Citations.

1 – http://denverpost.com/smart/ci_27275294/financial-resolutions-2015-four-ways-help-yourself-keep

2 – http://tennessean.com/story/money/2014/12/31/tips-getting-financially-fit/21119049/

Woman looking through binoculars

Women’s Money Mantra

When you begin the journey of taking charge of your financial life remember and repeat the Women’s Money Mantra.

1. You don’t have to have it all together, just start
2. It’s okay not to know, as long as you are willing to learn
3. If in doubt reach out and find a professional you LIKE and likes YOU not just your money
4. There are no stupid questions just complicated answers, keep asking
5. When they say “Just trust me” run the other way and find another advisor

 

Do you have a Mantra you would like to share? I’d love to learn about yours! Please let us know what you think by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.

Boomer Couple in Front of Their Beach House

Women and Financial Power

Too many women lack the confidence necessary to take control of their financial lives. Women fear making investments, managing their finances, planning and monitoring their spending, managing investments, and increasing their wealth.

Why aren’t women more confident with their finances?

The answer is that women are stopping themselves from being assertive. Many women leave their financial lives to their husbands, boyfriends or parents, and because of this way of thinking, they lack financial power. Financial empowerment must come from within. Women must seize it with fervor, reflecting an unshakable determination to take control of their financial lives. You must tell yourself that you can become empowered, and that you will not let outdated notions of gender hinder your success. Keep “EMPOWER” in your mind as an acronym representing these concepts:

Education is critical
Motivation inspired by your values
Protection against risk
Ownership of your future
Work — claiming what is yours requires effort
Emotions should be kept out of decisions
Responsibility to yourself

Do you use any acronyms to motivate you with your finances? I’d love to learn about yours! Please let us know what you think by posting your comments on our Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.

Gibbons, EmpowHer! Why more women are taking the financial lead

Boomer Couple on Motorcycle

Why are Women More Risk Averse?

Women avoid risk more than men; this can come back to bite them

Perhaps it comes down to both genes and social upbringing – women feel greater pain when they lose money than men. The result is that women tend to shy away from stocks more than men do. This makes intuitive sense because stocks are more volatile and unpredictable — on average – than bonds or cash. Perversely, it’s the wrong direction for women; they need higher exposure to stocks than men do. Women live longer than men; stocks broadly should continue to outpace inflation over long stretches of time vs. bonds and cash. Inflation is the enemy of all retirees and is especially corrosive to women due to their relative longevity.

Woman reading stock quotes from WSJ.

Ways Women can become Engaged in their Financial Life

Some women handle their money brilliantly all the time- in a perfect world. It is crucial to be connected with your finances. However, most of us are in dark about our finances for reasons like misunderstanding terms or not being involved enough. Luckily, there is always time for you to become engaged. The tips below will help you become involved with your personal finances:

  • Do you let your husband or partner manage money without your involvement? Change happens all the time in relationships, don’t start learning about your finances while you are in shock.
  • Do not sign your joint income tax return without reading it. Make sure you understand and thoroughly read your income tax return. If you need to, consult a professional; but don’t rush into signing anything.
  • Do you use your husband’s financial advisor, even if you don’t really like him, know him, or can’t stand him? At your next meeting with your Advisor, ask yourself how much YOU were engaged in the conversation. If not, consult with your partner and try to find an Advisor both of you can be engaged with.
  • Ask for confusing terms to be explained. Don’t let uncertainty and being uncomfortable get in the way of understanding your finances.
  • Not taking enough risk. We women tend to be more against taking risks. Women live longer lives; we retire with two-thirds the retirement savings of men. This calls for greater risk taking to earn a higher return. Many women HAVE to push themselves to do this.
  • Not seeing your money as a means to express your values. Value is defined as a person’s principles or standards of behavior. Many women express their values through the products they buy, the way they spend their time, and the companies they work for. However, few women view their investments as a tool for expressing value. Today, the new industry can represent a way for women to have their money work at more than just earning a financial return.

It is time for you to become engaged and find success in your finances! Take control now! Did you find this email helpful? I’d love to hear from you, please post feedback to Financially Savvy Women Fanpage.

 

Professional woman with man in the background

What Happens When You Decide to Earn More

You have decided to earn more money. Once you have made that committed decision, three things will happen:

  • There Will Be Coincidences
    • Decisions are like magnets, they draw opportunities to you. All you need to do is take advantage of the coincidences when they occur.
  • Other Areas of Your Life Will Change
    • You can’t make changes in one aspect of your life and expect everything else to remain the same. Sometimes the changes are positive while others are negative. Keep in mind that change is inevitable and will lead to bigger and better things.
  • You Will Resist
    • Anytime you set a goal or make a decision to do something different, you create a gap between where you are now, and where you want to go. This gap creates resistance. Be aware that you are resisting and use the tension to push you forward.

Barbara Stanny, Secrets of Successful High Earners

Do you find these events happening as you make changes in your finances? I’d love to hear some feedback! Post on Facebook.

female working on her finances

The Female Brain

All human brains have reflective and reflexive thinking. However, the way the female brain is structured makes women tend to be more focused on care-giving, passing on money and life values to the next generation, and using wealth to better the community as a whole. The three areas of the brain that will be discussed are the Amygdala and Limbic System, Hippocampus, and Corpus callosum:

Amygdala and Limbic System: The Amygdala is the center for emotion, fear, and aggression. It is located in the Limbic System and is the part of the brain responsible for the fight or flight response. The female brain’s limbic system is typically larger than the male’s. Scientists hypothesize that the larger limbic system contributes to women being more compelled to care for others.

Hippocampus: This part of the brain is the center of emotion and memory formation. This section of the brain is larger in women than men and accounts for a woman’s ability to remember specific details. The larger hippocampus also could contribute to some women wanting their Financial Advisors to remember personal details about their life.

Corpus Callosum: This part of the brain transmits signals and connects the left and the right side of the brain. Women have more connections between the left and right hemispheres, making them excellent at multitasking and verbal communication.

Kingsbury, How to Give Financial Advice to Women

Do you have any past experiences that reflect the new information you just learned about your brain?

Retired couple gardening

Why Women are Less Decisive

Women worry more about their financial health but lag in decision-making and self-confidence:

This difference in self-confidence has an enormous impact on the financial planning industry. A LPL Financial “Women Invest White Paper” survey shows that 67% women want an equal role in financial decision making and only approximately 20% want their husbands to make all the decisions. Yet, data shows less than two-thirds of women actually attain an equal role in financial decision-making (note: financial decision-making here refers to “big ticket item decisions,” not grocery shopping level daily or weekly decisions).

An ideal advisor will listen to both women and men – regardless of the gender of the financial decision-maker – and will avoid being patronizing toward both women and men if they lack financial understanding. Women prefer to work with female advisors, when possible. Although women comprise more than half the financial planning/investment clients in this country, fewer than one-quarter of Certified Financial Planners® (or other credentialed advisors) are female.

Kaplan, Women and Money: Why They Avoid Risk and Lack Confidence when Making

Don’t feel patronized or left out of your financial future. Whether you’re single, married, divorced, or widowed, let’s talk about how I encourage women to take on a greater role in the decision making process. Contact me today.